♫ ♪ BenJoe's Music

Instability

2011-01-16T15:42:00.000+08:00

Anew year, a new hope? A new wish? I’ve got my list. But, there’s a ‘but’… Icould say that my life is not stable right now, ever since the New Year’s isstarted. Honestly, I say that I am jobless or unemployed right now. Keepwaiting answer from my ‘employer-should-be’ is a waste and disappointing. To bea student is hard, to work is hard, but to be unemployed is harder, I guess.

Unstablelife makes me feels stress and I become no direction. There’s many ‘what if?’questions inside my mind. I really couldn’t find appropriate and promisinganswer to my questions. Now, it’s about the risk again. Huh. Seems like I’m acoward huh? Not willing taking risk? Not willing to go out from the comfortzone? Talking of comfort zone, do I really comfort right now? No, I’m not.After all, this is not only about me unemployed. It’s about everything me andmy environments. Feelings, relationship, commitment, money, friends, desire,food, physical, you name it. Umm about physical, my right leg still in paintill’ now, since about two months ago. It’s actually not that hurt, it hurtsonly while I’m standing (which makes me walk unstable) and it is like on andoff. I never went to hospital yet about this, but I think it is not a bigmatter.

Ireally need something that can lead me to the right track. It could be anythingthat could burns my flame bright.

God Will Make A Way

2010-12-01T22:52:00.004+08:00

Location: Rani SDA Church

Date: 27 November 2010

With only 2 hours to practice and learned the voicing before the day we perform, so here is the result. The singers are my brother (right), brother in-law (left) and I (middle).

I admit there's few out of tune/ off tune voice at some parts, but I hope you enjoy it. (= Am sorry for the blur video quality (my friend didn't know how to adjust it).

___________________________________________________________________________

It’s December, the last month of the year. For me, this year2010 has given me so many memories good and bad. More importantly there’s lotof lessons that I’ve learned through the year. I should say that God has make away for me until this moment, until forever. Even though there still a problemthat has not settled yet, I believe God says “Wait, I’ll give you better’.

We are Not Always Right

2010-11-29T07:56:00.000+08:00

People have different philosophy and view in life. So,please don’t think that you are always right. Yes, we are not always right.

I am so sick when being blamed of the things that I couldn’tagree with that person. Moreover, that person doesn’t want to accept peopleopinion or admonition positively and wisely. Doesn’t matter I am younger or youare older than me, it doesn't mean that you are always right. Please considerothers opinion rather than just looking on your own view. No need to blame eachother. There’s word saying ‘focus/ solve on problem oriented, not peopleoriented’.

It’s so hard to deal with this kind of person; especiallywhen it is with your own family member.

I hope I am right, if not, my mistake.

Be Still My Soul

2010-11-04T20:10:00.002+08:00

Be still my soul Be still my soul Cease from the labor and the toil Refreshing springs of peace await The troubled minds and hearts that ache.
Be still my soul God knows your way And He will guide For His name's sake Plunge in the rivers of His grace Rest in the arms of His embrace.

Be still my soul Be still my soul Though battles round you rage and roar One thing you need and nothing more To hear the whisper of your Lord.
Be still My child I know your way And I will guide For My name's sake Plunge in the rivers of My grace Rest in the arms of My embrace.
Be still, be still my soul.

This is oneof my favorite songs. This song means a lot to me.

Problemregarding my interview result still have no conclusion, and I have no ideawhether it will be solved or not. And what's more sad, we don’t know what actually thereal reason of this problem. There’s still no news from the ‘people’ whoinvolve in this matter. It’s so frustrating if this problem ‘dibiarkan begitu saja’.

“Be still MySoul, God knows your way, and He will guide for His name's sake.” This is thehope I carry in my heart. With God’s hand, I believe this will be solved. He determine my destiny.

Music is my soul.

p/s; here is another version of this song. Interesting even the quality quite not good.

FAITH.HOPE.LOVE

2010-10-28T18:24:00.000+08:00

FAITH will make a closed door be opened.

HOPE will make an opened door can be seen.

LOVE will make an opened door always opened.

First of all thanks mum for the birthday present. I know youhave strong Faith, Hope and Love for me. (Actually this present was bought amonth ago when mum had her trip to Jakarta and Bandung, Indonesia).

I will surely remember this magic word in my memory andapply it in my life.

News that has been waiting for so long has come, and too sadit makes me down. I am so sad and disappointed. Some plan for my future almostdestroyed or maybe have to be delayed. I don’t know what to do now. So sad and frustrating.

I hope that miracle will happen, because seems something iswrong. I hope my FAITH will make it opened and my Hope will make it seen.

Dear God, Please make this easy for me. AMEN.

Twenty-two

2010-10-26T21:19:00.000+08:00

I’m getting old. ^^ (what anintro? Hooho)

Yes, today is my birthday. Formost, my gratitude is to the Lord for giving me a life to live in these 22years.

We all realize that life isn’teasy but hey, if you live your life well then you’ll be fine.

I guess this new age bring me toanother phase of life. I just graduated from UMS two weeks ago and maybe sooneror later I will start a new life called Teacher Life (most probably). I will beposted somewhere and will have a new name ‘Sir’, ‘Cikgu’, ‘Sigu’ (with dusunslang) or maybe ‘Encik’. Hoh.

Actually one of my birthday wishesthis time is to be posted soon at the school that can show them who I am andaccept me for who I am. Challenge is everywhere, but I really hope I can do thethings that I love in that school! I know later in the future, a lot of thingswill be hard for me so, I really want God to be there with me all of time andmake them easy. I know He will.

Thank you for your prayer for me,your support, love and its kind.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR BIRTHDAYWISHES VIA SMS, CALL AND FACEBOOK. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

His Eye is on the Sparrow

2010-10-16T07:35:00.000+08:00

I am still in my convo mood. ^_^
more pictures is here, at my facebook album.

I believe He has watches and guide my journey in this life. So, here I wanna share a video of me singing a song entitled 'His eye is on the sparrow'. Enjoy and sorry for the video quality. ^^

Yes, I sing because I'm happy and I know He watches me.

this video is taken during my choir outing, here

Thank you for watching. =).

Another Achievement!

2010-10-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

Picture above says it all.

Yes, now I am a BACHELOR OF EDUCATION WITH HONOURS (EDUCATION WITH SCIENCE) holder.

After all efforts,sacrifices, tears and sweats dropped, now it worth it all.

My gratitude for most, thank you to the Lord that You haveblessed me every time!

Thank you to my parents.

Thank you to my sisters and brother.

Thank you to my big family.

Thank you to my best friends.

Thank you to my friends.

Thank you to the teachers and lecturers.

Thank you to the entire person that I know.

Thank you all for your support, love, courage, help, advice,knowledge!

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!

More pictures will be uploaded soon.

SILENT WAKE UP WHEN SEPTEMBER END

2010-09-30T21:40:00.000+08:00

September 2010 is come to the end and I just ‘wake up’ frommy silence in this blog.

There’re much words, events, expressions, feelings etc thatI want to tell, say or share but I’m in silent. Huh, I really can’t be called ablogger.

Keep silent may bring advantages and disadvantages.

On the positive side, keep silent may bring compromisingbetween the two sides involved. This means both being tolerate to each other.Sometime, this may tighten the relationship.

On the other hand, keep silent may be a bad idea for somesituation. You may feel regret if you don’t express the thing inside you.Moreover, keep silent will make you loss. Lose the thing you want, lose thething you love.

But here’s the deal, if u keep silent you get nothing, butif you tell, you may get the thing or lose the thing. That’s the risk.

Maybe I should stay up?

p/s: Yeah! Oktober!

Disappointed

2010-08-04T21:12:00.002+08:00

Feel disappointed is an experience that may happen to everyone. The question is how we human, deal with it? I suggest that, we need to be positive, don’t think too much about it and of course never give up. We don’t always get what we want, but who knows we can have the things that we actually need.

Last Monday, I think every SPPS UMS students’ batch 06’ feel disappointed because we can’t be interviewed due to ‘DATE’ problem. Yes, I am one of them. Most of us have loss a lot, especially to those who come from far. Because of that, we have to wait a word or register again next September.

At another point of view, sometimes, taking an action has a same meaning with taking a risk, which means, after taking an action we could feel happy or disappointed. And what make it worst, it may be ruined everything what we have. This may be too complicated.
However, we have to decide what the best for us, and dare to feel disappointed. As I said earlier, we maybe don’t get the thing we want but we maybe get the thing we need, one day.

Reminder: Ask God to participate in every action we take. We know the ways He answer us.

Interview

2010-07-27T22:47:00.000+08:00

Somehow, I feel nervous. Anyway, I will give my best.

Hoo....need to study/ read a lot.

Wish me luck & don't forget me in your prayers. TQ.

Black and White

2010-07-02T22:16:00.005+08:00

“Life is like a piano. The white keys represent happiness, while the black keys represent sadness. But as you go through life’s journey, remember that the black keys make music too.”

Today, 4 hours ago, when we about to begin the choir practice suddenly there is no current, BLACKout. In the beginning my spirit was going down to lead the choir not only because of the 'blackout" but some (maybe many) of the choir members did not attend the practice, but then I don't know how I get the strength to carry on the choir practice. We sang the song "Bread of Life, come and feed my hungry soul oh bread of life, nothing else can satisfy, every need You will supply, come and feed my hungry soul oh bread of life". Then I said to the choir, 'halangan ini bukan halangan sebab tengoklah kita masih boleh menyanyi". They already memorize the song.

"Congregation will follow the leader but they will also critique you"

I heard this sentence during the YouthMusicCamp a month ago, and keep it in my cellphone memory. This sentence make me realize eventhough my members will follow my order, but the will also critique me. That makes me mature.

Everyone at home can online together now. Thanks to bro in law, he bought the new modem with wireless today. That's one of the WHITE key for today.

Another sentence from the YouthMusicCamp is;

"The best gift the God gave us is, Music".

and I believe that!

Artist and Art

2010-07-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

The artist is the creator of beautiful things.
To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's aim.
The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.
The highest, as the lowest, form of criticism is a mode of autobiography.
Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault.
Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.
They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty.
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.
The nineteenth century dislike of Realism is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a glass.
The nineteenth century dislike of Romanticism is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in a glass.
The moral life of man forms part of the subject-matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists in the perfect use of an imperfect medium. No artist desires to prove anything. Even things that are true can be proved.
No artist has ethical sympathies.An ethical sympathy in an artist is an unpardonable mannerism of style.
No artist is ever morbid. The artist can express anything.
Thought and language are to the artist instruments of an art.
Vice and virtue are the artist materials for an art.
From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is the art of musician. From the point of view of feeling, the actor's craft is the type.
All art is at once surface and symbol.
Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril.
Those who read the symbols do so at their peril.
It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.
Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital.
When critics disagree the artist is in accord with himself.
We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.
All art is quite useless.

-Oscar Wilde-
The Picture of Dorian Gray

The picture of Dorian Gray is a novel used as our 'textbook' for one subject at university. I'm reading it back now (because I never finish to read it before).

Static

2010-06-30T23:50:00.000+08:00

I'm 'static' to write on this wall for a month.

It's nearly 2 months after I finish my undergraduate study. Some of my course mates are working, but me? Just sit at home "static"! Now, I actually feels much bored than enjoy on this holiday. ya, initially many undangan makan sana sini during the school holiday but now no more. Just sit at home! Boring.

I think I need to start moving. Working? Tuisyen? Piano class? hmmm....let's see how later.

I'm Static

Music and Kaamatan

2010-05-26T21:32:00.000+08:00

Music

Christina Aguilera's Back to Basics is one of my favorite album. Christina rendition in every song make me say 'wow', awesome. Well, you know she has a powerful big voice and originality, in short, a marvelous voice. Her latest album, BIONIC (still not in hand) must be very good, and it's more to 'futuristic' sound, according to media. Her latest single "Not my self tonight' is very nice.

Talking about music, ya, tomorrow (Thursday) night, I'm gonna attend the SASS orchestra concert. I am hoping for an exiting concert.

And then, on Friday till Sunday I will be at Dantai to attend the Music Camp. =) I'm looking for knowledge as well as delightful experience during the camp.

Kaamatan

First of all, KOTOBIAN TADAU TAGAYO DO KAAMATAN KUMAA TOINSANAN.

On this coming 30th May, our village will celebrating the Tadau Kaamatan (Harvest Festival). Since my mum is the AJK pentas, as usual she ask me to do the task such as, preparing backdrop and typing letters. Same like last year, they (AJK) picked me as one of the jury for the Sugandoi (singing) competition. I actually feel 'malas' to do the judging, but I have to and take it as a responsibility. Ceh.

On the following day, 31st May, I will go to KDCA Penampang to attend the Sabah state Kaamatan. But, the main purpose is to see the Unduk Ngadau and give support to my cousin, Tini (Inanam), and my friends Canne (Klang Valley) and Bella (Paitan). I wish them good luck and do the best.

Lastly, KEPELBAGAIAN KEBUDAYAAN, TERAS KEHARMONIAN. hehe ^__^

Finally!

2010-05-19T22:22:00.002+08:00

Finally, I got the "time" to write here. Hoho, actually I have too much free time since I'm home, I've got nothing to do except sit at home or kedai and watching movies/tv and playing games. What a boring life again. *sigh*. Okay, this is not the subject here.

I've been admired to have this 'thing' since 2 years ago as I looked my friends have their own. Two weeks ago, mum borrowed her BSN card and it's password to me. She said 'nah, jan kasi kluar lebih kama, saya tau tu kalo lebih".. and on that day, yesh! Finally one in hand! Canon EOS REBEL T1i EOS 500D. hohoho...oh what can I say, I love you mum so very much! ^____^

hehe...for sure I'll be using this 'toy' for some upcoming events ahead. But..huh, still in the process of learning to use this thing, some options still haven't discovered how it function. tiba-tiba terbayang situasi menggambar bersama photographers yang hebat2, adui mesti agak malu. huhu. Nevermind, I try my best for the best pictures. chewah. ^^

Another finally is, Finally I finish my degree study at University. Thanks God, I manage to achieve this. but, actually it is still unconfirmed yet until I get my final exam result and whether I qualified for convo or not. Hopefully, I pray, I will not repeating any subject, I won't extend. I just don't want to be too confident, but I'm pretty sure I'm qualified. HOPE.

Life is Temporary

2010-05-03T08:21:00.000+08:00

We can't avoid death. This year it's kinda mystery to my village. 5 people already had leaving us (past away) since end of February this year. Yesterday, another soul has gone. May all of them rest in peace, till' we meet again.

In John 9:1 Jesus says: "I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work." And Jesus also said, death is not the end. "But your dead will live; their bodies will rise. You who dwell in the dust, wake up and shout for joy." Isaiah 26:19.

I just can't talk too much about death. But all we need is to keep in faith because we don't know what/when the time we die. Life is temporary, live it well.

Glimpse

2010-04-30T21:21:00.004+08:00

Had sat 5 papers. 1 to go.

Things are going pretty well (tho, some are not). Exam was okay. I'm healthy. No big obstacles that I cannot solved. ya, things are okay. Group discussion really helped.

Sometimes we (maybe, I) just can't satisfy every people desire. and I am sorry for that. Sometimes I feel tired of being 'me', and maybe I feel good being 'them'. But then I'm just me and I know there's something(s) that I really can do to help myself and others. I want that 'something'.

Today is end of April, 2010. A new day will come and I'm wishing for security and blessings.

*sempena hari-hari terakhir, maka telah bergambar di sekitar kawasan pengajian. Picture above is my favourite.

Lazy!

2010-04-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

I AM DAMN LAZY!!

EXAM IS AROUND THE CORNER, AND I'M NOT PREPARING!!

I'M KILLING MY SELF!!

STUP*D ME!!

An Angel to Watch Over Me

2010-04-11T08:21:00.009+08:00

She watched by my cradle through long, sleepless nights
She taught me to pray as she knelt by my side
She guarded my childhood, and all through the years
She echoed my laughter, she counted my tears

In the arms of my mother, I came to believe

That God sent an angel to watch over me.

She taught me the meaning of courage and faith

She taught me to live with the Lord as my strength

She taught me to follow the pathway he marked

She guided my steps when the journey grew dark

And I know there were dangers that I could not see

But God sent an angel to watch over me.

She taught me to serve with a spirit that sings

She taught me to seek after heavenly things

And because of her love and her kindness and care

Because of the place that I hold in her prayers

And because of her goodness, I still believe

That God sent an angel to watch over me.

by Sally Deford

This is a beautiful song lyric. If I make a list of all the things my mum do, I'll be run out of paper. She's everything to me and I love her very much.And Yes I believe that God sent an angel to watch over me. I definitely am thankful for a miraculous,wonderful mother like her.

Happy 42nd Birthday Mum.

Selfish?

2010-04-06T21:05:00.001+08:00

I am not selfish, I am just being fair.

I will not let you 'ambil kesempatan' with my effort in gaining something. Bcoz, I know you can get it if you put an effort.

I already let you know, but you don't want it. I'm having it, you want it, I'm not giving you.

Sorry, I'm just being fair to everyone.

I am selfish if I'm not telling you the things that you should know.

I did tell you.

In conclusion: I'm not selfish.

Right?

T.I.M.E

2010-03-31T10:48:00.000+08:00

Today is last day of March, 2010.

Time run so fast.

I remember, I taught my friend (housemate) how to sing in harmony with 2nd, 3rd voice etc on Pergi song last Thursday, and now it's Wednesday. I thought it was just happened last night. hoho

Last Saturday, we (family, relatives and friends) celebrated Daneilla 1st Month Birthday. Neyla (her nickname) is very adorable. She like to be hugged. My mum and big sista call her gungkibit..hehe If she not hugged, she won't sleep and she'll cry. Btw, the walnut, secret recipe's is very delicious.

Last Sunday, my mum and I sent my sista, Wawa to PLKN camp. I can say, the commander or (whatever), is so garang! huhu.... Maybe, that their procedure and hoping that the commander is not too much.. And also hoping that Wawa don't cry there. huhu she'll be there for three months.

Now, exam is around the corner, and next week will be the last lecture for me at UMS. Time has gone so fast.

I ♥ ♫♫♫♫

2010-03-26T07:41:00.001+08:00

At this post, I wanna share another two greatest musician that I love very much. They put a big influence in my music.

Presenting Josh Groban and Michael Buble!!

Josh Groban - You're Still You

Michael Buble - Feeling Good

AWESOME!!

It Has No Joy

2010-03-23T18:57:00.001+08:00

It has no joy when conflict occurred. Even I am not the main person involved in the conflict, I feel sad. Undefined feeling is so hard to understand.

It has no joy when people don't trust you. Even I am doing the right thing, but when they don't believe it, I feel sad. Never-mind, maybe, love all, but trust a few.

It has no joy when you failed on something. Even I have put much effort, but the result is disappointing, I feel sad. But, they said failure is a key of success. Never-mind.

It has no joy when your message not accepted. Even I want them to know, but they don't realize it and they may be don't wan't to listen, I feel sad. To master communication skills that can touch someone is a bit hard, never-mind don't stop sending valuable message.

It has no joy when people laugh at you. Even I am not a perfect person, it's doesn't mean that you can laugh at me, I feel sad. A true man is not a perfect man.

I wish to have joy, but I just couldn't have that in every moment. Well, that's life, facing the "it has no joy' moment is normal, so just accept it. Joy means happiness, comfortable, peace, and fun. Having joy every second is Heaven.

maybe.....

RAYS @ GAYARATAU, TAMPARULI

2010-03-15T12:48:00.003+08:00

Last saturday, RAYS choir went to Gayaratau church. I think we have fun and present our best during that time. As for choir we present 6 songs

Aku Bersedia (I'm willing Lord)
Here I am to Worship
Ku kan Memuji Bapa
Puji Tuhan (Shout to the Lord)
Dengan HadirMU (In His Presence)
Thanks be to God.

Other than that, the ladies group (they called them wonder girls..haha perasan) sings "You are the Light".

a sibling duet performance sings "Before the throne of God".

and a solo performance by the leader (hihihihi) singing solo "His Eye is on the Sparrow".

That was our first choir outing in 2010, and also first outing with uniform. =) I'm glad because after the efforts we've made, we manage to wear our very own uniform. The color is grey+silver+purple+black. Tho, some members still don't have the uniform because they late joining the choir. nvm. =) I hope this choir will continue develop and become better and better in all aspects. God Bless.

Here are some other pictures.

me and wonder girl..lol

RAYS

mcm potret. The girls with the super talented pianist "EKING'.

The Boys

hohoho...^^

bestfriend since childhood - music make us grow

*emmm

**this weekend I maybe join the SACUS choir. And also I maybe busy with the Evershine choir, preparation to visit Toboh, Keningau church.

Heaven's Embrace

2010-03-12T06:48:00.000+08:00

When shadows gather

when shades of night descend

I kneel to lay my burden at my Father's feet again

I offer up my sorrow

Entrust to Him my grief

And at His touch my heart is filled with peace

At His touch my heart is filled with Peace

Borne upon a prayer

My soul is lifted up

Enfolded in the arms of everlasting love

Cradled in His kindness

Sheltered by His grace

Like a child in heaven’s embrace.

THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR AMAZING GRACE.

Life isn't Easy.

2010-03-10T18:26:00.002+08:00

Life isn't easy. But do I have to be this busy? Busy means stressed, not rational, not comfortable, tired, no free time, not enough sleep, emo, not happy, no enjoyment, sad, and I also ever think 'I better die' (stupid! I know). I think I am too negative now. In addition, what make me under pressure is when people around me also under pressure. Their emotions shown on their face discourage me sometimes. Different ideas, different approach, different ways of thinking in doing work, different purposes on life; I mean, when we don't have unity in doing work. At this moment, those make me down. We should not follow our emotions 100%, why don't we just forget about our feelings for a while and focus on the problem oriented? why don't we respect others and not focusing on the people oriented? stop blaming others because we are just the same, not perfect.

Lord, I'm sorry for being negative and weak. I always asking You why? why? why? but then, from the beginning I already know the answer. I believe that, this is the 'monster' I have to defeat, this is the 'storm' that I have to fight with, and this is the 'fire' that I have to extinguish. I know I can do this, I know I can Live well, I know that one day I'll say "I WIN". This shall pass and will be done. Amen.

Kristen Daneilla

2010-03-02T14:56:00.002+08:00

"A new baby is like the beginning of all things, hope, a dream of possibilities."

"A baby is born with the need to be love and never outgrows it."

"Every new born baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on."

"Babies are such a sweet and nice way to start people."

"Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility."

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for." (hoho)

*mcm fotogenik..hehe"

*main mata*

*^__^*

*smile*

*woooah*

*I love you*

This is one of the most precious gift ever in our home. My sister giving birth to Kristen on 28th February 2010. Time: 4.30 am. Kristen is my first niece. I believe that God will bless her all the time together with his parents. She is very cute. I just like want to hug her now. wuwu...but I really have to wait for friday. I love you, Kristen. cita-cita pada masa hadapan: akan mengajar Kristen mendalami muzik. ^__^. Harap-harap besar sudah nanti akan terer main piano n violin n menyanyi...hihihihi semoga Kristen sentiasa sihat dan sejahtera.

Because He Lives

2010-02-26T06:33:00.000+08:00

Because He lives I will fear no darkness

Because He lives I will walk in light

Because He lives I will praise His kindness

Because He lives hope shines ever bright

Because He lives I will seek His righteousness

Because He lives I'll follow where He leads

Because He lives I shall conquer even death

And I shall live because He lives!

12 -- 21 02 2010

2010-02-22T22:29:00.002+08:00

Karaoke!!

Having a good time Karaoke-ing at KKBOX Karamunsing on 12022010. Telah meluahkan banyak 'isihati' menerusi lagu-lagu. ;p Tho, some songs on lists can't be played. Huhu...

*Don't.....lalala

*friends

*i'm NOT controlling the mic!

*uhuk uhuk...

Valentine's Day

........ (word less)....

I love my family and Friends!

Chinese New Year

The year of Tiger! Prof. V post on his FB "Tahun harimau: semoga kita hari-hari mau belajar, bersenam dan bersyukur." ya, agree with u Prof. Semoga saya hari-hari-mau bertekad cemerlang. ^___^

VolleyBall

Having a great time volleyball-ing during the holiday. I'm not a good player, but I can play. It is not only about the game but how we (family, friends and I) making friends, interact, communicate, laugh, and manage conflict together. For me, it is not about who is winning the game, but how we can have fun together.

*Location: sawah bawah rumahku

*having fun together

*children and their fire

*^__^

1 Borneo and Golden Screen Cinemas

I have watched two movies on the holiday time duration

True Legend - the 'tarikan utama' for me to watch this movie is Jay Chou (one of my Idol in art). After watched, I said "sikit ja pun c Jay Chou keluar"... my says/ review "4 stars. 2 parts of story. 8/10 for the action. 6/10 for the whole stories. I get the point."
Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief - no 'tarikan utama', but I love it after watching!! Story related to the god of Greek, and DOTA (game). my says/ review " 5 stars. 9/10 for the whole stories because 'kurang action kuasa vs kuasa'. I love it and listed as one of my favourite movies"

Jalan-jalan/ Makan-makan/ Window shopping at the 1 Borneo hypermall makes me less-stressed. hoho.

*sekadar gambar hiasan

*juga gambar hiasan

Other Events

'Shooting' at UMS. My job as video-man. Purpose: doing Computer and Multimedia in Education assignments.
Misup KB. RM 4.50. Belum cukup. hehe...
Choir practice. Got improvement. Preparing for RAYS outing on 1303.

The holiday is over. I need to focus on my study now. Lot of assignments need to finish and submit this very soon since I only doing 10% of my assignments during holiday. Midterms!! adoi.. I need to berusaha!! 'This' journey is about to end, I must run fast. No more turning back or berlengah-lengah or mengikut perasaan or menyibuk or bersukaria. ENOUGH.

Lift Me Up

2010-02-07T15:53:00.005+08:00

If You lift me up
Just get me through this night
I know I'll rest tomorrow
And I'll be strong enough to try....

Lord, Lift Me Up...~~

I ♥ THE SEA

2010-02-06T22:06:00.002+08:00

credit to: Marilyn Oyo and Jackie. UMS ODEC.

Be Patient!

2010-02-02T11:11:00.001+08:00

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

Hebrews 10:36

This is the scripture on Sabbath school last sabbath. And ya, I believe this!

This few days ago, I felt something wrong with me. Many temptations I think I have faced (bertubi-tubi), I feel discouraged. But on my facebook wall I wrote "Thank you to the TEMPTATION, BURDEN, TROUBLE i faced. I won't discourage!"

I know that I shouldn't have to be discourage, but to be patient. I need to persevere and keep on praying with effort indeed.

Yesterday, the car was repaired (change battery). Thank you so much to sister and brother in law for their attention, their help and their money (of course) and their car also. They have help me many times and I feel great to have them.

Thank you to friends, giving me support, giving me courage to be strong and their help on my study matters, my note book, my problem.

This morning, I started the car, I try to insert CD into the CD player, Thanks God, 'can play', 'can play'. I feel so happy.

Eventhough some other small matters I have to face, but I thanks God for giving me the HOPE in every problem I am facing now. As ChaCha's theorem says "Thank You Lord for all the complications I am facing now. If life's easy, where would all the adventures be?"

"Be Patient"

Another Way

2010-01-31T10:45:00.001+08:00

There's always another way to make you feel better when the other one is quite impossible to do so.

There's always another way to make you feel accepted when the other one is a high risk action.

There's always another way to make you feel happy even though you are hurt.

There's always another way to make you feel loved even though that is not the love you ask for.

I'm just doing the 'another way' at one particular situation. I'm afraid because I have think. Maybe that way is not the best for me, but I think it's the best for the persons included. Just letting the time to determine it all and I know God is always there for me.

"Do I pick the RIGHT way??"

Last Sem...

2010-01-28T09:16:00.000+08:00

..I hope so!!

This is my first post on my blog at 2010. But, on my note books I always forgot this is 2010, b'coz I often write the date dd/mm/2009. sigh.

Been busy with Caroling, Concerts, "Mongomot", cuti-cuti Malaysia, Shopping,Makan-makan, Christmas and New Year celebration last year (December) makes me didn't post any to this blog.

And this new year, been busy with study matters.

Confuse with the 'Kod Kursus'. Some says, use kod lama, some says use kod baru.
Assignment. huu..too MANY assignments need to do.
Non Resident. I am a non resident student, and tinggal tumpang at friend's 'house'. The problem with pelekat kenderaan was settled and have no worry anymore. But always worry with SPOT CHECK.
New matric card. Since the UMTP building moved to a new location it takes 1 week for me to wait for my new matric card. Sohaiii UMTP.
MUET. Settled! Registered MUET, and feel good a bit since my English is qualified.

Pada semester yang terakhir ini saya berjanji untuk terus berusaha sehingga mencapai kecemerlangan dalam bidang yang saya suda ceburi ini. Ini merupakan peluang terakhir saya untuk memperbaiki keputusan PNGK.

BERTEKAD CEMERLANG!!

A time for us

2009-12-01T23:57:00.001+08:00

Hello December!

Time will never wait...without realizing there's only a month then goodbye 2009.

Last thursday (until sunday), I went camping at Dantai beach. What did I get? hmmm, what can I say is I get the same experience as I experience during last year and last year n.... camping. It is almost the same.

This year, our Zone didn't take any part on the field activities, this is due to the time, lack of practices, no leader to conduct, etc. Hoping that, next year, our zone will take a step, so that we are going to active again.

RAYS Charity Concert::

This coming Sabbath (5 Dec) the concert will be on. Hoping that everything is under control and we can do the best. We hope that all the guests will enjoy the performances.

Christmas:

Can't wait for Christmas. Sure, there will be more open house. uuh... and .. Sale at the mall will never be forget. Time to shop a lot.

New Year:

30 days to go. =)

Inspiration...

2009-11-19T23:35:00.002+08:00

Let's learn Dusun (Sabah Language):

DUSUN = MALAY = ENGLISH
aiso = tiada = don't have
haro = ada = do have
ralapaon = sayur-sayuran = vegetables
pounsikou = terima kasih = thank you
miabal = sama-sama = your welcome
olisi oku diaa = saya mengasihi kamu = I love you
parai = padi = paddy
nokuro = kenapa = why
walai = rumah = home
karabo = kerbau = buffalo
suab = besok = tomorrow
angasi = sedap = delicious
taki = datuk = grandpa
todu = nenek = grandma
apa = bapa = father
tina = ibu = mother
Kompiuto = Komputer = Computer

That's all for now. Thank You.

......

Being with the 'veteran' sometimes make me feels fun and great. Ya, I could know how their live when they were young, how they play during their times, what their experiences of life, work, etc, what their 'gossip' with the other veteran especially in opposite sex (haha..funny), how they know and married their spouse, and many more.

And what I enjoy also is to watch their action among them. hehehe...sometimes their act like young man, make fun of each other. Even though some times their story will turned to 18SX story, (hahaha..) but it really funny and enjoy to hear their stories.

I will never forget their existence in my life. They give me many inspiration in life as well. How to be strong, how to love and to be loved, how to keep faith, how to do this and that, how to be friend. Love them. ^___^

RAYS Charity Concert

2009-11-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

I am arranging a program named RAYS Charity Concert.
Purpose: To collect money -> RAYS choir uniform.

This program will be on December, 5 2009 (2 PM) at Rani SDA Church.

RAYS = Rani Advent Youth Singers

Letters was distributed last Saturday with Ween help to pass it to Pastor George and to pass it to the guests and artistes.

Artistes?? Yeah, RAYS will collaborate with few Tenghilan artises. The artistes are:

Mr. Kenneth K. Gabu
Miss Cherish Esther Osmond
Mrs. Diane Chrisie Beth Lai
Sakida's Family
Miss Jenny Timan
Mr. Walter Bingku
Sherley & Leona
Jhoas Family
Miss Stefpenny Eric
Melton and Ween
Miss Lisa Sundian
The Friends

I hope that all of them can perform during the concert, and I hope the concert will be doing OK. I believe with God Bless, support from the churches members, and all the preparation we do, the concert will be doing fine and good.

= The Poster=

=The book mark (in ice-cream shape_sedap :-)=

As a leader for the Group I have many responsibility, even though some times the RAYS members did not give to much attention, focus and help during choir practices and all the preparation we doing but I know they want the best as I do. I have to be patient and positive. May God bless this program.

Jalan Jalan Cari Makan

2009-11-08T12:26:00.000+08:00

Last Thursday n Friday I went to KK.
Thursday: with bro n elder sista. Bought bro stationary and needs to go back Labuan.
Friday: with friends Oyo, Jayn, Stela, Kevvy. Hangout (n urusan penting) after send bro to terminal Feri.

Nothing interesting, but I enjoy my self after a 'long time' just sit at home.

On thursday we went 'makan' at pasar gantung. nilai kebersihan tidak perlu di ulas. utamakan kesedapan dan kemurahan. =) btw, I never keracunan makanan or sakit perut whenever makan there.

"nama warung itu' n sila pilih warung ini sebab ini warung terbaik di sana. =)

"suasana warung itu'

"makanan yg kmi order 1: sup isi ikan" sedap!!

"makanan 2: ayam potong-potong" nyum2.

"makanan 3: ikan asam manis" emmm..

"makanan 4: peria daging"

setelah beberapa minit......

makanan habis dan pinggan telah licin. 3 orang sahaja menghabiskan???? wah, sungguh 'gudoot' my bro n sista sempat tambah nasi lagi.. Saya pura-pura diet. Haha

On friday, we went to KF (urusan kerja/study) then to 1Borneo, bersuka ria! =)

Forgot to take pic during meals.

At 1B 'sales di padini memang sukar dielak!' but I didn't buy anything..sungguh sesak n rumit memilih pakaian2 nya. hehe

"2 orang ini telah membeli" (sorry stela blur)

gambar-gambar lain...

-with the girls 1-

-with the girls 2-

- with mushroom yg sedap-sedap -

teda gambar bersama KV.

=THE END=

Ku Percaya Ada Cinta

2009-11-02T15:35:00.000+08:00

I'm currently listening to Siti's new single Ku Percaya Ada Cinta, and I think the music composition (Audi Mok) is awesome especially the chorus part. And one line of the lyric I like is "mana bumbung langit tinggi, mana lantai bumi".

I'm fan of every best singer and Siti is one of them. It doesn't matter whether the singer is local or international as long as she or he can sing excellently and has own identity in singing.

....

At this moment I don't know what kind of love I experience. But I always believe that God loves me. Maybe I have hurt other and I really ask for apologize for that, but at the same time I just want to be understand.

....

God Shows His love through nature.

........

Care Group

2009-10-30T22:19:00.004+08:00

C = Christ

A = Attitude

R = Reflect

E = Everyone

I've joined care group early of this year. And I miss the moment where I learn soo many things about God, learn about living in this world, sharing and caring others and many more. I cherish the precious moment and knowledge of Christ Attitude that Reflect Everyone.

My group members during the care group is Dr. Saiman as leader, BD, Oyo, Kiki, Alfrey, Chacha and me. Here I want to share some that we have learn during care group.

#1: Amazing Grace

we learnt what God is really like, and what it means to be a son or daughter of God.

#2: Looking to Jesus

We learnt an equally important key to Christian survival-the renewing power of a mind centered on Christ.

#3: Tackling Temptation

Sin creeps in subtly, temptations overwhelms us, guilt weighs us down. Fortunately, God has made provision for just such occasions, and understanding that provision is vital--to our survival.

#4: Knowing God's Will

Often the little decisions we make have lasting consequences, and much more so the big ones! How encouraging to know God is willing to lead us through them all.

#5: Fellowship

God did not design any of us to strike out on the Christian path alone. Rather, His plan is for us to enjoy the rich blessings of caring fellowship. Make sure fellow believers are always an important part of your life.

Other than that we also have learnt 10 keys to Scripture Memory.

#1: Use Good Tools - eg: small verse pack with verse card.

#2: Memorize Word Perfect -should memorize scripture carefully with 'jot and tittle' of it accurately.

#3: Learn to Meditate

#4: Apply the Word - Meditation should always be combined with personal application.

#5: Focus on Retention - God not only wants us to memorize His Word but to "engrave" it in our mind.

#6: Know your References -you should not only know what a verse says, but also where it is found.

#7: Stick to Short Passages

#8: Memorize Fresh Verses

#9: Set a Pace - more important than how determined you are to memorize right now is how consistent you will be down the road

#10: Get Some Accountability - the biggest key to success in Scripture memory.

Care Group 'give' me a lot. And I appreciate it. God Bless You and Me.

NEW..

2009-10-26T22:32:00.000+08:00

...age! (wrong) hair (correct)!

Yesterday (Sunday) night I've decided to cut my hair! I ask my friend to cut it for me at the dewan, but the gunting machine is rosak semasa rambut saya di pertengahan jalan, aduiii..nasib baik la ianya boleh dibaiki, namun malam telah lewat, lalu saya meminjam gunting machine itu dan menyuruh adik ku menggunting rambut ku. (dia tidak pandai gunting, tapi teknik guntingannya mudah sahaja menggunakan machine untuk fashion rambut ini). What fashion? huuu don't be surprise. Because this is the first time I cut/ design my hair on this style of my life time!! I don't know why but, suddenly hati I tergerak untuk buat rambut macam ni.. Jeng Jeng Jeng!!

huuu...too different kan?? Sexy? hahaha But don't worry it still ME!!

Oh ya! Another one is my new hobby. To edit image! hehe it is fun!!

Tommorow I will go to accompany brother in law to Sandakan, because he will receive him Anugerah Perkhidmatan Cemerlang as Teacher. So, a time to take picture again.. =)

21 list of Blessings

2009-10-26T10:59:00.001+08:00

I feel blessed for this 21 years..

FAITH TO GOD - Being taught about faith to God since small, make me grow in the love of God. Though many trials, hardship and temptations arrive, I know God leads and helps me to the right way.
FAMILY - Living in THIS family is such a precious blessing. I'm happy to be born in this family and I love them with all my heart. Though friends comes, they will goes, but family will stay by my side forever.
FRIENDSHIP - To all my friends, thanks for your friendship relation with me. Without you, my life is color-less. Thanks for the colors you paint in me. =)
HEALTH - I'm thankful for the good health!!
UNDERGRADUATE - I can't believe that I am in the final year! I learn many things for my future life, guarantee. Now is waiting for the grade of my Teaching Practical and PSM, I hope everything will be fine and I am really really hope that I will not extend my study. sigh. have to repeat muet again. damn. last take, 8 more points to band 3. But, no wonder also, most student yang ambil muet d ums dulu band 1 and 2 ja. But, kalo gagal lagi, matilah!!!
KNOWLEDGE/ TALENT - I'm happy to have a few abilities and a lot of Knowledge.
LAUGH/ LOUD - I always live in the community that laugh and loud often. And I am happy with that, my relatives, villagers, and friends are always can't live if not laugh and loud. haha =)
COMFORTABLE - I am glad because I live in a very comfortable place, comfortable community, and comfortable family!
PIANO - "wah, hebat oh ko main piano kan" ... I am not puji diri sendiri, but sometimes people say that sentence to me..hehe. Being pianist for the church sometimes increase my 'saham'. LOL. And I am proud because able to play piano at the big church (Likas, PMC, English church) and also always called to be a wedding pianist. I also had invited to play piano solo for the MADIK last sem, but because of few technical problems, it wasn't happened. =)
SINGING - Thanks for the voice God give to me. I am not a really good voice singer, but I always love to sing. I have learn few technique of singing and I able to apply it. And I'm happy because I had sing at the big church (again ^_^).
CHOIR - I'm proud of my self about this part. Since age of 18 I already conducted a choir. And until now, I already conducted 5 choir groups (even some are just temporary). Thanks for the trust that the choir members give to me.
LEADERSHIP - I think I am a good leader. I have lead a few teams for a few event, and this very soon is RAYS (Rani Advent Youth Singers) Charity Concert on 5 December. Hope that everything going to be fine.
RANI-AN - I am really happy to be Rani-an. Living in the Rani community is a big advantage for me. The people are hardworking, always want to help, caring, sporting, loud, and laugh often. Even live in moderate,but we all share happy and sad moments together.
MONEY - I don't have much money, but my money is always sufficient. Thanks to my parents that never forget to fill my wallet. Sometimes I spend much, sometimes I spend less. based on mood. hehe
MEALS- My food is always sufficient and sometime more than enough. I know how to cook few cuisines, and I am happy with that because I love to eat! I am the person who is "makan apa saja asal halal", from sayur peria to petai, from ayam to ikan, from bosou to bambangan, and from durian to anggur. Everything suit to my mouth, tongue and stomach. Only one condition "asalkan halal".
SCENERY - Green nature around me is a blessing. Feels relax and comfortable. And the beautiful scenery around the land below the wind make me proud to be Sabah-an.
Internet - I must admit this, I can't live without my laptop and Internet connection. Through on-line, I learn many things, I can get many things, I know many things.
DRIVING - Driving keeps me moving. I am not a P driver anymore since July. ('so?'..err)
PURE HEART - I thank God for giving me pure heart. Thanks for the Holy Spirit that always whispers to my heart.
COURAGE - I found my courage in the word of God, Inspirational stories, inspirational movies, friends, family and the most is Jesus.
LIFE- ya, I am 21 now and it is a blessing to live a long life!

Yesterday...

2009-10-25T12:41:00.000+08:00

Today is my last day at 20th years old..and ya, I can't stop the time and being younger. ^_^. I will turn 21 and being older and older and boleh mengundi sudah. LOL.

Yesterday, mum and sista BB, arrange a wonderful night to celebrate my birthday. (celebrated earlier coz Sabbath evening is a good time:) But it was actually not only to celebrate me', but also my Dad and Uncle in Law birthday, and thanksgiving of my Aunt. I really appreciate mum, sista, brothers, friends and relatives for their support, courage and happiness that their give to me.

Dad: bah, kasi tau la apa wish ko..
Me: ammmm, c BB (sista) suda kawin, lepas ni saya pula mo kawin...hahahaha (all the hadirin pun katawa)
Uncle L: suda ada calon ka? hahaha
Me: hahaha..aiya itu lagi oh, bulum ada lagi ni..itu la minta cari ni...hahahaha (all the hadirin ketawa again)
Dad: yang butul2 bah.
Me: hehe...ammm..mgkn tahun depan akan graduate dengan dorg Bika, jadi harap2 lepas ni dapat kehidupan yang lebih baik, dan akan sentiasa Melayani Tuhan. =)

Even though, my actual wish is only me know it. Yeah, I do want to have a better life but that is pretty general. ^_^

Here are some picture of the night!

Yesterday:

Mum delivered me. My parents take care of me.
I grow in the good family with religious and education focused.
I learn from kindergarten until university.
I learn the word of God and build my faith to serve.
I face some problems and I am having happiness.
I learn how to love Jesus, others and my self (JOY).
I know some good friends and bad friends.
I know what is right and wrong.
I live with music, learning piano, singing.
I had sad. I had happy.
I eat a lot.
I know what I like.
I know my self.
I know others.
I live my life.

Many other things had happened yesterday(s). And I hope all the good things will always happen, and all the bad things will disappear. I hope that I can love and be loved. I hope that I can face temptations. I hope that I will have a good life. I will live my life for YOU.

...

Thanks God in every way You lead my way until I realize that I am in the right way. Eventhough sometimes I did pick the wrong way, but You always lead me back to the right way. I love You my Lord.

Err...

2009-10-21T01:09:00.000+08:00

Hari ini (eh kemarin, sebab jam 1233 suda *-*)

Berada di rumah sepanjang siang.
Adikku balik dari labuan dan telah membelikan coklat yang diorder n snickers (hehe...kegemaran chamen).
makan satu pek kecil dan menyembunyikan bungkusan snickers tersebut. haha...
pergi bermain badminton di kala malam (7pm) dan menjemput rakan, namun dalam perjalanan ke dewan motorsikal yang dipandu mati kerana kehabisan minyak. sigh.. maka dengan itu terpaksa jalan kaki dan tinggalkan motorsikal di rumah aunty. Nasib baiklah perjalanan dengan kaki itu sudah tidak jauh.
bermain badminton dengan baik dan telah menang 2 dari 3 perlawanan bergu. =)
terpaksa merentasi sawah dalam keadaan gelap dan telah terpijak 'burutak' a.k.a lumpur semasa perjalanan balik dari dewan.
makan lewat malam. Ikan bakar dan kotut ayam dan sayur nangka dan durian. ^_^
online. farmvile. mencari bahan untuk assigment uncle yang mengupah saya menyiapkan assigmentnya.

Pencemaran!

Jangan terkejut. Itu sebenarnya tajuk assigment yang telah diamanahkan kepada saya oleh Uncle M untuk dibuat dan siap sebelum 25hb ini.

Saya masih dalam proses mengumpul maklumat berkenaan pencemaran sungai Semenyih, Selangor. Sebenarnya assigment ini memerlukan tempat khusus untuk dikaji punca dan kesan pencemarannya, maka saya telah memilih sungai Semenyih. Ketika ini saya kekurangan sumber video sahaja. Gambar dan maklumat causes n effect itu rasanya sudah mencukupi. Assigment ini bukan dalam bentuk teks tetapi dalam bentuk persembahan digital ICT.

Saya berharap agar assigment ini dapat disiapkan dengan baik dan akan memberikan saya lebih ilmu pengetahuan. Kesimpulannya, janganlah kita mencemarkan dunia kita. Dunia kita, Tanggungjawab kita.

*gambar-gambar kesan pencemaran*

Buried Feelings

2009-10-16T22:41:00.001+08:00

They say "FEELINGS BURIED ALIVE NEVER DIE"...and this happen to me now.

The language of feelings is something that most difficult language to speak with others and with ourselves.

Playing with my own emotion is not a good game because two parts of mine is competing each other. 'LOVE' and 'FEAR', ya! Those are two major feelings that happen to me now. I do love, but at the same time I have a lot of fear in my self.

It's too late. Ya, I can't turn back time and I can't change something that already happened. I'm not faking my life and I won't! but..I don't want other to know what am I feeling. Because my heart consist a hole that need to be fill. I do not know how to fill it, to look someone that can fill it is really hard. I just turned to God. I have a lot of fear, and I don't want it to eat me, I don't want it to destroy me, I don't want it to bury me. I don't even know how to express it. To cry in the middle of the night is useless. Ya, no one can't see it and no one ever know what I feel. Through my life, I don't know how many times that I buried my feelings. I just want to live happy. An everlasting happiness!!

I don't know how long I can stand with this, and if this has no solution, I hope that I can stand with this until I die. I just can confess it through my heart and prayer with Jesus. Jesus will comfort me and live in me. because I'm happy to see they happy. It is enough for me. God is the there for me to listen all my sorrows and feelings. I know God will and already answers my prayers and always give me a solution for every problems I face. Thanks God.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

God has plan of my life, and I know that I will be safe.

Novel-ing

2009-10-12T23:30:00.003+08:00

Sebentar tadi, aku baru menghabiskan bacaan lima novel semenjak bacaan pertama pada hari Isnin yang lalu. Itu bermakna, aku telah menghabiskan bacaan 5 novel dalam masa satu minggu. Diriku bukan lah seorang yang boleh dikatakan ulat buku apatah lagi ulat novel, namun oleh kerana line internet di rumah ku telah terputus akibat daripada masalah modem maka masa lapang yang terbiar itu aku penuhi dengan membaca novel.

Pada mulanya, aku membaca novel itu sekadar suka-suka, tetapi lama-kelamaan aku tertarik dengan jalan cerita yang di ceritakan oleh penulis. Oh ya, novel itu bertajuk FLYING KISS dan ditulis oleh Nass Alina Noah. Kisah cinta, keluarga, darjat ekonomi yang berlainan, remaja, ibu-bapa, Malaysia, France, social, sekolah, dan banyak lagi telah diceritakan oleh penulis dalam novel ini. Teringat aku kepada tag line astro MACAM-MACAM ADA. Sangkaan ku pada mulanya, cerita itu habis pada novel yang pertama ku baca namun sangkaan ku meleset kerana terdapat lima novel perlu dibaca untuk mendapat ending kepada novel tersebut. Nasib baik lah aku membaca novel itu dari novel edisi yang pertama. Setelah aku menghitung jumlah muka surat novel-novel yang ku baca, tidak ku sangka aku telah membaca 2486 (464+481+478+507+556) muka surat dalam masa satu minggu. Jika novel ini ini bukan fiksyen atau buku pedagogi pendidikan ataupun matematik, mesti aku telah menjadi pelajar yang yang cemerlang. Ha ha..

Jika aku ingin mengulas cerita ini, aku takut kalau-kalau aku akan turut menghasilkan novel, tidak pun cerpen. Ha haa.. namun pengajaran dari cerita ini boleh diguna pakai, sebagai anak kita mesti menghormati orang tua kita, dan sebagai ibu bapa, anda tidak seharusnya mengongkong anak-anak anda sehingga membuatkan mereka lemas dan dianggap seperti tidak berperasaan. Kepada pasangan kekasih, anda seharusnya lebih menghargai satu sama lain, takut-takut nanti ada yang ketinggalan.

Akhir sekali, READING MAKE YOU KNOW. MEMBACA PENERANG ILMU. BUDI BAHASA BUDAYA KITA. MAJULAH SUKAN UNTUK NEGARA. Hahahaha..ignore yang teda kaitan.

ROJAK!

2009-10-12T00:43:00.002+08:00

First of all, it's been a long time that I didn't post any blog. After finished Teaching Practical and completing my PSM, I actually doing nothing. Just resting at home, and sometimes went to KK/ IP/ UMS for some reasons and hanged with friends, and also going 'mindahu' somewhere and Farmville (FB) as well. =)

Someday/time I actually want to post any, but always malas to write, and if rajin then don't know what to write/type.

Resting at home for a long time actually make me boring. Yalah, if not online-ing then watching TV (itu pun jarang), then every monday to friday must prepare lunch for the orang-orang rumah. Then in the evening, SLEEP. Sometimes playing the piano and sing like crazy. haha...What a boring life cycle everyday.. uuh! Badminton! Nasib bek ada badminton tiap-tiap ari mingu, dua sama ampat..I can exercise and release my boring. hehe...I gained weight so, I need to exercise and destroy the lemak-lemak in my body..haha

Only SABBATH make my time filled. Morning till afternoon for the sabbath services, and in the evening for the choir services. I'm not complaining! Even though sometimes it feels like no rest coz' after going home from church on the afternoon about 12.30++ then going back to church on 2 pm to lead the AY(youth) choir, then continue with the Evershine(adult) choir as pianist until 6 pm. Even though a bit tired (again..I'm not complaining) but I'm happy to do and take the responsibility they give to me, and of course I'm happy to serve Thee with my ability and talent. And I'm happy I have my Sabbath to fill my time.

I want to elaborate more about my PSM. (Complaining?? U ARE) Imagine! I've submitted my PSM without being checked by Mr.CKK. I'm not the only one but some of my friends under the same supervision experiencing the same case like me as well. It wasn't our fault 100%, because Mr.CKK want it earlier (really) than the other supervisor. Let's count, 7 weeks earlier. And I finished my PSM in only A WEEK?? huh, I can fell like robot at that time, doing PSM during teaching practical.. lack of sleep, lack of rest, lack of eat. haha.. but, I'm proud of my self that I manage to complete all the task given (puji diri sendiri a.k.a kasi senang hati). =)

What else? Oh ya, during my boring time, I'm Experimenting a few dishes. haha... some 'jadi' some not. complicated bah. Eventhough may 'bukan rasa sebenar' but it's fun learn something new..hehe I'm not going to be a chef, but who knows kan? haha

Okay la, I want to type more but already tired, and you also must be boring to read this merepek post kan? haha..alright then!!

*sekadar gambar hiasan, credit to photofunia.com*

Observation completed

2009-09-02T22:23:00.003+08:00

To be a teacher is not easy and is hard!! 5 reasons why to be a teacher is hard are:

A teacher should manage his time intelligently to make sure he is prepared for the teaching and learning process.. maknanya kena belajar betul-betul sebelum mengajar dan memastikan kesihatan terjaga dengan tidur awal dan bangun awal...:p disamping itu mesyuarat-mesyuarat yang kadang-kadang mencuri masa a.k.a membuang masa itu harus di ambil perhatian..huhu
A teacher should manage to control students' behaviour while the teaching and learning process is on... maknanya kena marah (walaupun tidak mau marah) jika student tidak pandai dengar dan bersedia untuk dibenci oleh student.. Sebagai langkah tidak terlalu dibenci dan akan disukai, guru hendaklah memuji-muji student walaupun kadang-kadang tidak ikhlas..hehe
A teacher should be creative and make sure student have lots of fun during the teaching and learning process.. maknanya, everytime guru kena fikir dan buat pembaharuan dan pelbagai aktiviti semasa mengajar. Di samping itu, guru kena pandai menyusun aktiviti pengajaran dengan tahap kepintaran pelajar, kalau dapat yang kurang* pandai..habislah!
A teacher should know what is happening around the school, the country and the world. Ini adalah penting agar dapat menunjukkan guru itu seorang yang berilmu pengetahuan dan tidak segan apabila dibawa bercerita oleh guru lain.
A teacher should be a teacher and not only a teacher. Boleh difahami? ya, sila fahami.

I've already observed 7 times, where 2 by supervisor (Miss L) from Maktab Kent, 5 by guru pembimbing (Cikgu H and Cikgu A).

First Observation. Miss L. 9.7.09. Mathematics (Probability). Must be creative. Learning Outcome should be explicit, boleh diukur and dilihat. Berjaya menyusun isi pelajaran. Pakai necktie and name tag.
2nd observation. Cikgu H. 21.7.09. Science (Nuclear Energy). Objektif dinyatakan dengan jelas. ABM (alat bantu mengajar) sesuai dan penyampaian teratur. Lebihkan aktiviti berpusat pelajar. Berkeyakinan dan bersemangat.
3rd observation. Cikgu A. 31.7.09. Mathematics (Trigonometry II). ABM sangat membantu pelajar. Agak cepat bercakap. Ambil masa untuk kebajikan pelajar. Penampilan yang sesuai.
4th observation. Miss L. 5.8.09. Science (light, Colour and Sight). Berjaya menarik perhatian murid. Berjaya mengadakan hubungan baik (guru-pelajar). Boleh mengawal disiplin. Berpakaian kemas dan berpewatakan menarik.
5th Observation. Cikgu A. 12.8.09. Mathematics (Trigonometry II). Objektif PnP sesuai dan boleh dicapai. Papan tulis seharusnya digunakan dari kiri ke kanan :) . Bimbingan meja ke meja berkesan. Matang dan ada unsur kecindan. Bersungguh-sungguh.
6th Observation. Cikgu H. 1.9.09. Science (Subtraction of coloured light). Experiment. Set induksi baik. ABM digunakan sepenuhnya. Kawalan kelas perlu diperketatkan lagi. Tabah. Selamat maju jaya.
7th Observation. Cikgu A. 2.9.09. Mathematics (Angles of Elevation and Depression). Set induksi mengarah pemikiran pelajar. Mudah difahami. Disiplin kelas terkawal. Matang, berkeyakinan dan berdedikasi terhadap etika dan profesion perguruan.

The observation was completed and now I don't have to be more stressful as before. I can teach calmly and rilex. hehe.. Pada pendapat anda, adakah terdapat peningkatan dalam pengajaran saya? I don't know, whether I can be a great teacher or not, but three months experience as a practical teacher teach me many lessons make me more mature and knowledgeable. Thank you to all the teachers at Arshad because guide and give me support during my practical. 9 more days to go, then I finish this teaching practical. Can't wait.

* Cikgu Ben*...:)

At the eleventh hour!!

2009-08-26T23:05:00.006+08:00

I don't know how to start..uuh

Ok. My PSM(Projek Sarjana Muda) supervisor, Mr. CKK is going to further his study somewhere (UK if not mistaken) and as a consequence (...) he ask me and my friends under his supervision to submit our PSM on this coming, and very near 10th of september!! And guess what? I don't even take a single step to begin the task. Actually I don't know how to start.. with all the data incomplete, I do not know how to initiate it.

Well, doing at the eleventh hour is not a new thing for me, and I can say since high school, this tabiat is sebati with me.. Doing revision last minute, doing assigment last minute. Sometime, I wonder how can I strugle this far.. It's a blessing.

During primary school I was a top student, and the biggest/wonderfulst memory was when I do not have to sit Darjah Empat becoz I'm qualified to 'jump' from darjah tiga to darjah lima becoz I pass excellently the PTS (Penilaian tahap satu) examination. Being the representative for story telling, and syarahan also a wonderful memories.

I still remember during form 1 at highschool, I've been chosen to be the class monitor. haha... And I'm not giving my comitment so well..huhu I'm so shy and not menyerlah as during my primary school. I think I have some bad memories, experiences during my highschool!! I wasn't the top student.. Ranking 20-35 in the class, ya, that was my position, even though I stayed in the best class. I even ever ranked at the last position. Uuuh..so terrible. Friends during highschool? oh, I can count it with my fingers.I am so immature and very the budak2 bodoh!! I ever have regret it during highschool, and I pray day and night "God, pleas change my life, I dont want to live with this life anymore" that was my pray. And after SPM, I did pray again "God, let me enter to Matriculation, because I know that is a solution for me to change my life to be a better life".

I'm so thankful to God because He answered my prayers until I've been accepted to the Labuan Matriculation College. And as I wish, I change my life during my life at College. I try to change my behaviour, I try to change my attitude, I try to change everything in my life, and I managed to do that. I became active in Kokum especially im music parts. Friends also always called and asked for performance, choir and dancing. My grade in curicullum also much better, which enable me to get 3 pointer above. I become more mature in some part of my life, no more malu-malu, and became more hardworking (chewah). True, I really love my life at KML because it changed me a lot even though there's a lot of temptaions, far from family.

After KML, then I continue my study at UMS. UMS also change me a lot, and what so obviously, I get more friends in different races and background..hehe I became more mature and a bit nakal..hehehe but it doesn't matter, because I'm happy with who I am now!!

After all, I wonder apa kaitan this story with the eleventh hour topic...huhuhu forget it. I just type what comes to my mind..lol.

I really appreciate my Family, Friendss, and God the most because giving me the chance to change my life as what I am now..

Mum' Get well soon..

2009-08-14T22:48:00.005+08:00

My mum was stayed at Likas Hospital last Thursday. Mum didapati mempunyai ketumbuhan dekat rahimnya (jika tidak silap). It's been a long time, mum slalu mengadu sakit dibahagian perut. Whenever, mum doing a heavy things that sakit will come and usually for a few days. I just pray to God so that my mum will become more healthier after she being cure by the doctors and the hospital's staff.

I can't imagine if mum is not be with us the children. Life must be so hard without mum, even now, mum not at home, we feel the emptiness that no one can fill it except mum.

"Dear God, please save my mum, please take care of her coz we love her so much. We can't live without her by our side."

My mum is a very patient mother. She is like a friend that we can share moments or experiences together. She is a mother who can give us joy and happiness. She fill our needs and willing to forget her needs just for our needs. She spent a lot for us, and give the best of her for us. In short, MY MUM IS THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD!!... I love you mum.

One thing that my Mum and I always do is sing together. We love to sing as duet, and sometimes I accompany her with piano.

This song (Hadapi dalam pencobaan) we perform during Evershine Choir Outing 21st June 2008. Yes Mum, be strong to face temptations and we will always beside you. Love U.

Life O! Life

2009-08-13T12:08:00.002+08:00

Life in deserts was sandy,
Life in caves was lonely,
Life in ocean was salty,
Life in stars was resplendent,
Life in car was modern,
Life in mountains was exhilarating,
Life in Sun was brilliant,
Life in forests was mystical,
Life in shadows was enigmatic,
Life in battlefield was belligerent,
Life in pearls was exotic,
Life in office was monotonous,
Life in sky was breezy,
Life in submarine was voluptuous,
Life in trees was mischievous,
Life in roses was fragrant,
Life in grass was intoxicating,
Life in webs was silken,
Life in paradise was divine,
Life in temples was sacrosanct,
Life in gutter was abhorrent,
Life in dirt was deplorable,
Life in rain was seductive,
Life in beehives was vivacious,
Life in wine was sensuous,
Life in computers was brazen,
Life in nests was sequestering,
Life in statues was stationary,
Life in icebergs was freezing,
Life in anthills was irascible,
Life in lakes was placid,
Life in locks was invincible,
Life in photographs was still,
Life in gardens was pleasant,
Life in mousetrap was asphyxiating,
Life in fists was curled,
Life in prison was disdainful,
Life in whirlpool was spinning,
Life in theater was dramatic,
Life in art was enchanting,
Life in boats was undulating,
Life in diamonds was glittering,
Life in moon was milky,
Life in kitchen was appetizing,
Life in beauty was ravishing,
Life in titillation was enticing,
Life in fantasy was stupendous,
Life in motherslap was blissful,
Life in medicine was healing,
Life in corpse was standstill,
Life in lavatory was pathetic,
Life in seedlings was blossoming,
Life in horseback was gallivanting,
Life in snakeskin was slithering,
Life in oven was sizzling,
Life in greenery was sedative,
Life in rebellion was evoking,
Life in discrimination was appalling,
Life in benevolence was gratifying,
Life in humanity was God,
Life in cheese was tangy,
Life in achievement was exultating,
Life in ambition was propelling,
Life in eyelashes was flirtatious,
Life in palms was dependant,
Life in fashion was bombastic,
Life in recluse was esoteric,
Life in keyhole was inconspicuous,
Life in kites was exuberant,
Life in glass was reflecting,
Life in tea was rejuvenating,
Life in sheep was impeccable,
Life in rocks was jagged,
Life in chains was abominable,
Life in feathers was tickling,
Life in egotism was preposterous,
Life in dawn was brandnew,
Life in dewdrops was mesmerizing,
Life in intrigue was electrifying,
Life in eloquence was mystifying,
Life in clock was pragmatic,
Life in childhood was nostalgic,
Life in robots was mechanical,
Life in fabric was shielding,
Life in soul was stupefying,
Life in roots was entangling,
Life in chains was hedonistic,
Life in bareness was lascivious,
Life in haziness was romantic,
Life in knives was lethal,
Life in chili was piquant,
Life in swings was fascinating,
Life in lechery was insane,
Life in rhythm was celestial,
Life in pulse was frantic,
Life in lies was cowardice,
Life in superstitions was non-existent,
Life in revenge was pugnacious,

New URL

2009-07-25T07:12:00.004+08:00

I just change the URL for this blog, frm elven-melody@blogspot.com to elbven@blogspot.com

I'm Just ME.

2009-07-22T20:19:00.004+08:00

"I may not be the best, But I can do my best"

I hold this magic word..ya, saya mungkin bukan yang terbaik, tetapi saya boleh lakukan yang terbaik.

Dalam kehidupan memang kita mempunyai banyak cabaran dan dugaan. Kehidupan itu ada hitam dan putih (macam piano :) Kehidupan itu kadang-kadang sedih, kadang-kadang gembira. Kehidupan itu satu perjalanan, yang mana setiap tindakan kita akan menentukan segalanya.

Adakah tindakan @ jalan yang saya pilih ini adalah benar? Adakah ini yang saya mau yang berlaku ke atas diri saya?

hmmm..Muzik!! ya, itu memang perkara yang sangat sinonim dengan kehidupan saya. Sejak berumur 8 tahun, saya sudah mendapat pendidikan muzik. Saya berterimakasih kepada cikgu2 muzik, Diane Chrissie, Debra Karen n Mrs. Norma Siagian. Memang mereka banyak membantu saya untuk memahirkan diri dalam piano terutamanya. Saya juga bersyukur, kerana di gereja memang menggunakan piano sebagai alat muzik, maka dengan itu lah bakat saya terus dikembangkan. Bukan sahaja di gereja, malah di sekolah bakat saya terus di perhatikan. saya bersyukur dengan itu. Satu cabang tentang muzik lagi selain piano yang saya sangat cintakan adalah bidang nyanyian. Ternyata program realiti TV adalah kegemaran saya, termasuklah program-program anugerah muzik yang dijalankan bukan sahaja di malaysia tetapi international. Jika tidak menyanyi dalam satu hari, memang itu bukan Benjoe. Piano=Benjoe=Nyanyi!!

Matematik!! merupakan subjek kegemaran saya di sekolah sehingga la di universiti.. malah itu la bidang yang saya ambil sekarang. Pendidikan Matematik. Terimakasih kepada semua guru-guru matematik yang pernah mengajar saya. Cikgu Evelyn (sek rendah), Cikgu Saad, Cikgu Chong, Cikgu Joniwod, Cikgu Sabarina (Sek M), Cikgu2 di Matrix dan juga cikgu2 di Universiti. Saya bangga apabila kawan-kawan mengatakan saya sungguh bijak apabila dapat menyelesaikan persoalan matematik, namun yang paling penting adalah usaha saya dan kemahiran saya menggunakan akal fikiran.

Sukan!! Sukan antonim dengan kehidupan saya. Saya tidak tahu mengapa, tetapi saya memang sangat-sangat lemah dalam bidang sukan. Dari sekolah rendah ke sekolah menengah ke matrik dan universiti, saya tidak pernah sekalipun mewakili sekolah atau rumah sukan untuk bertanding dalam sukan. uuh..tetapi ini tidak bermakna yang saya langsung tidak bersukan. Cuma sungguh sedikit utk saya namakan sukan yang saya main. Badminton, Bola tampar, Bowling. uuh..sungguh lemah. Saya memang malu apabila di ejek kaki bangku di sekolah, tapi what to do, I'm just me. Saya bukannya tidak mahu, tetapi saya tidak boleh.

Konfiden!! Ini adalah 50-50. Saya ada kalanya dapat menjadi konfiden ada kalanya tidak. Dan saya sangat tidak suka keadaan saya apabila tidak konfiden. Dan apabila tidak konfiden saya akan menyusahkan orang lain. hmm..saya tidak mau jadi begitu tetapi....huuu sorry kepada kawan2 yang sya telah susahkan.

Sosial!! Saya memang berkawan banyak dengan orang yang lebih dewasa dari saya, mungkin sebab itu saya menjadi agak matang dalam menilai kehidupan. Saya juga kadang2 lebih suka bersendirian, sangat pemalu dan tidak peramah. Saya tidak pandai memulakan perbualan dengan orang yang tidak dikenali atau tidak biasa. Di gereja, biasanya akan duduk seorang diri di depan dekat dengan piano. bukannya tiada kawan, tapi susah la. Koir, terlibat dengan koir orang2 dewasa dan bergaul dengan mereka. Huuu..memang hidup saya tidak se'remaja' seperti beberapa rakan yang lain. Tapi, tidak mengapa, mungkin sya merasa perasaan tanggungjawab itu dan sentiasa mahu orang lain gembira dengan saya, maka ini lah yang terjadi.. It's ok. IT doesn't mean my life is so that sad, ya saya sangat gembira apabila boleh mencapai sesuatu walaupun itu adalah perkara yang kecil..gembira apabila bersama dengan kawan-kawan, gembira apabila itu adalah perkara yang saya enjoy untuk lakukan.

What else? hmmm..adakah saya membocorkan rahsia sendiri?? haha. ya!! Tetapi tidak mengapa kerana saya mau orang tahu yang saya tidak sempurna..saya cuma adalah Elbenjoe yang ordinary.Saya tidak boleh menjadi yang terbaik tetapi saya boleh lakukan yang terbaik yang saya mampu..

p/s: Saya mungkin tidak dapat menjadi yang terbaik untuk 'si dia', jadi biarlah dia berlalu. Saya cuma mampu menjadi saya dan saya..:(

so much done

2009-07-06T11:31:00.003+08:00

Many things has done lately. I am a teacher..yeah, 15 jun lalu suda pergi mendaftar sebagai cikgu d smk arshad. now, already one month as a teacher. How do you feel as a teacher?? huu..tough question..yeah, initially quite hard, but i manage to be a good teacher for my student, even though without gaji, but i can feel the responsibility as a teacher to my students, it's not because i want the good marks from my supervisor, but again RESPONSIBILITY.
My routine as a teacher.
1. Lesson Plan. I have to do it before the teaching and learning process. But, sometimes, after the teaching baru mau siapkan lesson plan. sigh. huu and sometimes I cannot finnish the lesson plan because of time, kadang2 cikgu lain ambi masa sikit, n student lambat2 lagi mau datang pg lab..
2. Sleep. usually, after back from school, sampai rumah terus makan n terus tidur. after that bangun around 5-6 pm(depend).huhu Then around 11 pm ++ again suda tidur balik..huhu
3. wake up. every morning, i have to wake up at 5 am. (So early), then i take my bath, then wear my baju pejabat (hehe), then 6 am jalan ke sekolah.. it takes about 30 - 40 mins journey to school depend on the kesibukan lalu lintas, biasanya lambat kerana ada lori-lori yang sangat slow memandu..huhu
4. Task. other than lesson plan, my task as a teacher is to buat worksheet, to study the lesson that i need to teach, to find source from internet, and sometimes given a task by school teacher.
5. what else?? huuu actually banyak juga la kerja jadi cikgu ni..mau datang meeting, etc.

as a conclusion, saya merasa sungguh tidak sabar untuk menghabiskan Latihan mengajar ini kerana ke'stress'an nya suda semakin terasa. Saya ingin pergi ke KKBox untuk meluahkan segala apa yang terpendam di jiwa dan raga ini..haha

p/s: banyak faktor lain yang mengganggu konsentrasi saya semasa menjadi guru ini, tapi orang cakap "Jangan campur adukkan hal peribadi dengan hal kerja"..uhh!

4 stories!! 2nd:: Journey to TAWAU!!

2009-06-20T07:46:00.010+08:00

On 8 -9 June 2009 I experience a journey to Tawau.
4.00 am (8 June) : wake up, and ready to go!!
6.00 am (8 June) : arrived at Kundasang Pine Resort..my sister and her husband are there, kira macam berbulan madu la..hahaha after their finished check out then we continue our journey. oh ya, there are 12 people and a baby in that journey.

we went to their hotel and take few picture..hehe

picture 2

we continued our journey and singgah at pekan ranau to take our breakfast..forgot to took picture and the time..hehe

then arround 12 or 1 pm (8 June) we arrive at madai waterfall.. we took our lunch there and went to view the madai water fall.

madai water fall, ada orang pernah terbunuh there. sangat dalam bah tu.

then again, around 5 pm we arrived at bandar tawau..wah big city juga oh.. anyway..that is my first time to Tawau..huhu then oleh kerana my mum telah di pesan untuk membeli barang2, then we go to pasar tanjung tawau to buy, ikan bilis, and periuk belanga, etc.

Pasar tanjung tawau..

pasar tanjung tawau

another kedai that i found in Tawau..hehe

btw.. I think kedai-kedai di tawau tutup awal. around 5 pm sudah tutup..hairan...huhu
then we went to took our dinnner at pasar malam n I order nasi tomyam..(forgot to take picture la)..huhu

Around 9pm (8 June): We went to Kunak. Sk. ________ Kunak (forgot). We all bermalam at brother in Law punya rumah (rumah guru). I think it is about 1 hour 30 minutes perjalanan from tawau. Then after we arrived then masing-masing wait turns to take bath..feel sooo melekit la..hehe

6 am (9 June): wake up. Breakfast. Bathroom service. And we help abang ipar to kemas-kemas his barang. Actually that was the main purpose for us to go there. My abang ipar was converted to another school at SK. Tudan Tuaran. So all of his barang need to bawah pulang. examples (icebox, ricecooker, televisyen, astro decoder, wah too many laa.) but only a few yang muat kena bawa pulang..hehe

8 am: We leave the house and start the journey for us to go home at Tenghilan..but kami telah menyinggah beberapa tempat. pertama, ke pekan kunak untuk membeli ikan masin dan ikan bilis. (belum cukup ka dari kemarin???)

I found this boy sitting on the floor. sangat melihat dengan tajam pergerakan kami. so my sister take his picture..

After, pekan Kunak, then we went to Gua Gomantong. Kami mendaki gua itu untuk sampai kepuncaknya. A new experience that I gained.

My mum and I at the puncak of the gua.

Actually yang di belakang tu adalah keranda orang dulu-dulu.

Yeah.

Nama bagi laluan ke gua itu.

Then, setelah melawat kawasan-kawasan gua itu kemudian kami meneruskan perjalanan untuk pulang ke rumah. My dad ask me to drive the car (DMAX) which is that was only my 4th time driving the car, so of course belum biasa lagi memandunya apatah lagi memandu di jalan yang belum biasa di lalui.. While I'm Driving, suddenly an unwanted and unforgetable experiance telah saya lalui..ASTAGA..WE HAVING AN ACCIDENT. Yeah that was my FAULT!!! I try to memotong kereta orang, but because of the jalan yang berombak-ombak and dalam keadaan yang laju, kereta yang saya pandu hampir terbabas kerana tidak dapat dikawal. OH My!!! I feel so bad and sad.. ok. enough. Biarkan itu dijadikan pengajaran dan jangan cuba berlagak di jalan yang anda belum biasa.. Thanks God kami semua tidak ada apa-apa only the car la.

The bad experience which turns the happy moment to sad moment!!

OK..that was the story. Kami meneruskan perjalanan pulang dan saya bertukar kereta dan tidak menjadi pemandu lagi.
Mulanya, rasa macam trauma memandu lagi tapi kena memandu sebab nanti tidak dapat bergerak. so I'm still driving now.

THE END!!

p/s :: segala penggunaan bahasa rojak, kesalahan tatabahasa@ grammar adalah harap dimaafkan dan harap anda masih dapat memahaminya!!!

4 stories!! 1st: My sister wedding!!

2009-06-20T07:17:00.005+08:00

It's been a long time I didn't post any blog..
Ok now start the stories!! There are many things happen to me lately.

1st: My sister wedding!!
On 1st June 2009 my elder sister (Debbie) just married with Elvy. Before, and after the wedding there a few temptations that we need to face. FOr me :: 2 days before the wedding I was sick and sakit tekak..arggh..I'm so sad at that time coz I have to sing during the wedding ceremony at the church..huhuhu But thanks God, I still can sing during the wedding even though not so well.
For the first time, maybe boleh cipta sejarah..hehe Pengantin berjalan merentasi sawah dari gereja ke rumah kami..hehe. Initially, I think it was not a good idea, but after people memuji acara itu, wah not bad and I feel no wonder if ada pengantin next time will do the same thing..hehe
Even got some problems, but the wedding is flowing beautifully..hehe
Before the wedding, thanks to all villagers (orang kampung) for their helping hand. Ya, it's true, if anybody in our villagers that need help, memang orang kampung RANI semua ringan tulang untuk menolong. I'm proud to be RANIan!!
what else..too many to story, but I think enough la..yang penting the are married and they, my family and I need your pray supaya Perkahwinan yang mereka bina akan teguh sehingga ke akhir hayat and Jesus' second coming!!

p/s :: I'm the second child.. semua akan tanya "Bila ko kawin??" harr?? belum mau lagi la...jadi kaya dulu..hahaha

Silent Praise

2009-05-22T21:50:00.005+08:00

I have a book entitled "A Handful of Sands" by Susanna C. Chung. I Love the content of the book which contain Poems, Short Stories and Jokes.. For this post I love to share an Inner thoughts by Chung entitled SILENT PRAISE. Actually this poem, really related to my own life and personal reflection. I do feel the same as the poem words.

SILENT PRAISE

A note of music catches my attention, a sense of peace touches my soul. In my corner I sit, listening and reaching out to God, the music flowing through my being. I want to sing out my praise, alas, my tongue fails me, I remain voiceless.

Yet in my silence, my soul sings out joyfully, joyful as i know that He loves me. Though I am weak on my own, I am strong in His love. I praise my Lord in my heart, my silent words go to Him like incense smoke.

He knows me inside out, there is nothing I can hide from Him with my heart. He is always there for me, when I am sad, He gives me guidance and comfort, when I am happy, He completes my joy.

I shall not be afraid, doubts may creep in but I shall not give in to despair. He is my staff and my light.

By Susanna C. Chung

Yes, God will always lead me, comfort me, guide me and completes me. I love You Lord.

PASRAH

2009-05-20T21:47:00.004+08:00

Kadang-kadang saya cuma merasa dunia tidak adil kepada diri saya. Ya, memang betul apa yang saya telah capai kini adalah baik dan mungkin yang terbaik buat diri saya, tapi saya merasakan apa yang sedang berlaku kepada hidup saya tidak dapat memberikan kepuasan dan kegembiraan yang benar-benar memuaskan hati saya. Adakah saya tamak? tidak!! Saya cuma kesal kerana apa pilihan yang saya buat dalam hidup saya adalah pilihan yang sebenarnya bukan saya idamkan.

Apabila saya melihat kepada kehidupan orang lain menyerlah, terutamanya dalam bidang yang saya minati, saya sejujurnya merasa sedikit cemburu. Saya ada mengatakan dalam diri saya "Jika saya dapat lakukan dan pilih perkara itu dengan lebih awal tentu saya juga berjaya seperti mereka". Saya merasa saya mampu buat perkara itu dengan lebih baik daripada apa yang sedang saya lakukan sekarang.

Namun, saya harus pasrah dan menerima segala yang terjadi dalam hidup saya ini dengan seadanya. Benar, bukan semua manusia akan mengecapi apa yang mereka idamkan. Saya harus kuatkan semangat dan meneruskan apa yang sudah menjadi pilihan saya (walaupun sebenarnya bukan 100% pilihan saya). Lagipun, apa yang sedang berlaku pada diri saya ini, tidaklah teruk malah agak berjaya kerana ianya berjalan dengan lancar.

Saya harus berfikir kedepan. Ini mungkin kata-kata saya pada ketika ini, namun masa akan menentukan. Siapa tahu, suatu hari perkara yang sedang berlaku dalam diri saya ini adalah perkara yang membanggakan suatu hari nanti. Saya masih boleh melakukan perkara yang saya gemar itu sebagai aktiviti sampingan walaupun saya mungkin tidak akan berjaya dalam hal itu.

Repair the past, prepare the future. Yeah, I should prepare my future with all the stuff, knowledge,... everything that I have now. Never look back, because it will bring you down.
Saya cuma mampu PASRAH dengan kehidupan ini. Life isn't Easy, Drive Your Life until you reach your destination. What's your destiny?? Live your life!!

NJOE DON'T GIVE UP!! YOU CAN DO IT!! YOU ARE THE BEST!!

SmileS

2009-05-17T22:27:00.009+08:00

I just don’t know what do at the moment..So I open my pictures gallery in my laptop. I see many pictures captured in different situation.. Many smiles pictures.. I just realize when picture is taken, there are smiles. Some big smile, some "nampak gigi" smile (haha), some small smile, some laugh smile (adaka??hehe), and many more smiles.

"Is it really important to smile? How important or essential to smile life? How and when do you use it?"
I want it to be a specific answer so i search in Google and the answer is...

A smile is very important in our life for three main reasons:
First, it is the greatest asset we have because of the signals and messages it gives to others about who we are, what we want and how we wish to be. It is like a handy barometer to our mood and the type of disposition we have. Second, it immediately tells someone we are approachable, we want to share the moment with them and we don't take ourselves too seriously. It also tells the other person they are valued. Third, it is the biggest tool in interacting with strangers and making new friendships because we don't have to say anything. A smile cuts across language and says it all while making us seem even more attractive. A smile should be used as routine, not saved for special moments, because it indicates your personality, the type of person you wish to be. Gloomy people are unattractive and dour. They repel others. A smiling person lets the sunshine in and gives others permission to smile too, and there is nothing more empowering in our life than this amazing asset we have.

Wah..After all, smile is a very important tool in our life. So keep on smiling.

p/s senyum control..hehe

TRANSFORMASI

2009-05-14T22:01:00.000+08:00

TRANSFORMASI: bukan AF tetapi adalah bilik saya..haha
In two days (kemarin and today) saya telah mengemaskan bilik iaitu, mengelap dinding yang sudah hitam-hitam(kulat2), mengelap lantai, menyapu, membersihkan 'baraba'/sarang laba-laba/habuk, melipat kain, mengemas buku, mengalihkan perabot, menghias dan sebagainya..hehe
Don't get me wrong..my room was messy before sebab sya jarang berada di rumah kerana tinggal di hostel..maka jika balik ke rumah kampung sekalipun tidak mempunyai masa untuk mengemas..Oleh itu, masa cuti digunakan sepenuhnya demi mencantikkan bilik saya. Tambahan lagi, ada acara besar-besaran yang akan diadakan di rumah tidak lama lagi maka rumah i.e. bilik harus dikemaskan dengan jayanya..
Hasil daripada usaha saya membersih, mengemas dan menghias, bilik saya telah kelihatan bersih, wangi (disebabkan haruman), dan segar (hijau)..hehe Hasilnya adalah seperti gambar di bawah. Saya terlupa untuk mengambil gambar sebelum TRANSFORMASI ini, jadi selepas TRANSFORMASI sahaja yang akan dipaparkan..
ini adalah luahan rasa puas semata-mata, dan jika anda mengata "ada aku kesah, cak cak cak cak"...;p

Beautiful Music

2009-05-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

I've read few quotations of music...just love it and really inspiring...
here i share it with u readers..

'A good compromise, a good piece of legislation, is like a good sentence; or a good piece of music. Everybody can recognize it. They say, 'Huh. It works. It makes sense.'

Barack Obama

'Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.'
Maya Angelou

'Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music.'
Ronald Reagan

'When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music. Which of you would be a reed, dumb and silent, when all else sings together in unison?'
Kahlil Gibran

'One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.'
Bob Marley

'My music will go on forever. Maybe it's a fool say that, but when me know facts me can say facts. My music will go on forever.'
Bob Marley

'My music fights against the system that teaches to live and die.'
Bob Marley

'He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.'
Albert Einstein

Some also agree music is not just the melody but it is a life, just like me. how about you?

"I sing and play my music"

Play It

2009-05-11T23:04:00.000+08:00

Music Definition :

"The science and the art of tones, or musical sounds, i. e., sounds of higher or lower pitch, begotten of uniform and synchronous vibrations, as of a string at various degrees of tension; the science of harmonical tones which treats of the principles of harmony, or the properties, dependences, and relations of tones to each other; the art of combining tones in a manner to please the ear."

Above define music true. But for me, music is my life, which consist of many instruments (family, friends, school, community, nation, etc) which present in my life. Some sound good, excellent, some are not.. well that is life, it is incomplete without joys, challenges, temptations.
To create a beautiful melody isn't easy, but I let God leads my way to make it wonderful.
I will write/type/speak anything comes in my mind in this blog, but for sure as my personal 'music sound' to others.

ok. First post is finished..=p